sempiternalVIM

    As I progress through the last year of my high school career, I notice more and more the need for  mandatory elocution class. You may remember from G. Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion (or, "My Fair Lady") that elocution is a department of rhetoric with emphasis on formal speaking. Of course I don't claim to speak like I write, and everyone uses such English discrepancies as "gonna" and "funner." But there are some things that are so essential to speaking and writing well that many people forget. I've learned most of these things in my own English classes at school, but I find out that once you hear of these, you tend to notice them more and more. For example, there is an arrow formed between the "e" and the "x" of the FedEx logo. Now that you've heard this, you will never forget that. Ever.

1. Don't start of with "I'm not going to..." or "I'm going to..."
    What's the point? In essays I grade and edit, I hear this statement all the time, because teachers have ingrained the atrocious thought that Introductions are supposed to tell the reader what they are about to read. In a way it does, but too many students take this literally and write it bluntly. First of all, it's a waste of time. Why not just tell your reader instead of prepping them? I'm making up this as I go, but you know what you are going to read, even though I didn't straight out tell you. You're going to read a list of things on how to speak well.
    On another tangent, prefacing any sentence with "I'm not going to..." is ridiculous, because the statement that follows is an automatic contradiction. I'm not trying to be blunt, but you suck. I'm not going to lie, but you look beautiful. I'm not going to explain how to speak well in detail, but first you have to... it's all a lie.

2. Your reader is an 'it.' Not 'them.'
    I learned this after reading a horrendous persuasion in which all references were made to an audience of "any of you." I know you are just you. You are sitting in front of a monitor of some sort and reading this alone. I'd hope this isn't some form of entertainment to your posse, but if so, then great.
    When you're writing papers, first off, you're not supposed to use "you" or "I." If you can though, in a paper written like this, then give your reader a break and call them personally, please.

3. Every statement does not have to be funny.
    The largest group of wannabe comedians I have ever found between the span of 30 seconds and two mouse clicks is on Gaiaonline.com . Everyone in the "General Discussion" board has this complex insisting that everything they say must be hilarious. Flat humor isn't taken well in text, if you haven't noticed.

4. Who are you, and why?
    One of my teachers this year is terrible. He seems like a nice guy, but he's horrid with teaching. Only because every sentence ends with "except...". It seems as if I'm not allowed EVER to have drinks, unless it's a really hot day, or I'm not feeling well... also, you can never go to the bathroom, unless it's an emergency, or you're literally peeing your pants... it's very frustrating. I expect a teacher to uphold the rules in a classroom, and that's what he is - a rule enforcer.
    This applies to writing. You are not the expert on the subject, no matter what your teacher tells you. Don't condescend or expect your reader knows nothing. The best examples of this are in any English classes in school. You're writing to your teacher, not some Nobel Laureate, not some hobo in the gutter. Write it, then, like you're writing to your teacher.

I have more, but it's a weekend and I have to get up to watch Xiaolin Showdown.

Did Jesus ever give compliments to fellow humans? How weird would that be, to be complimented by one so perfect. Yet, it's something that we as inadequate beings don't do enough.

There is something about the words of a compliment that gives off radically different face to the speaker. I try hard to give compliments regularly, and it really shows that people appreciate it.

On Saturday we had gone to the beach for a Fiesta they were having. Of course, with those words "Fiesta" comes hordes and hordes of people, so I had plenty of opportunities to send the positive vibe. I remember during school one time, I had gone up to this girl who was wearing a scarf patterned lengthwise with the keys of a piano. The piano isn't often chosen for fashion statements, given its monstrously bold color scheme and low versatility, but this scarf caught my eye. Anyways, I started of with an, "I like your..." and continued with: "Where'd you..." and we really got talking. For all 30 seconds, record time for interaction between strangers, she told me where and when she got it, and how much, etc. Nice of her. We both walked away with a smile; her, knowing her scarf was a positive purchase, and me, knowing I made her day, or something close to it.
Back to the beach - people go out of their way to be mean as well. Or just not cooperative. I tried to smile at one art dealer and compliment him on his photos, but he just nodded and returned to his book. Random people feel violated with you compliment them - I tried to another booth-keeper I liked his hat, and he got very defensive, so I backed off.

The scripture in Numbers 10:29-32, especially verse 31, tells about the importance of compliments. Moses appreciated Hobab's desert navigation skills, and let Hobab know his work wasn't in vain. We might take our parent's love for granted, but they really are extraordinary, each in their own way, and we have to appreciate them as much as possible.

I'm not trying to be forward or blunt with these statements, I just enjoy giving compliments, and like it more when people receive them properly. A simple thanks is all that's needed, don't make excuses for yourself. From now on, try to give compliments often, or more often than you have been. People do appreciate it.